This Shirt Won't Iron Itself by Anthony Lehmann

Author:Anthony Lehmann
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: memoir, Anthony Lehmann, Australia, Adelaide, Peebinga, AFL, Hawthorn, cricket, comedy, comedian, stand-up, accounting, Wil Anderson, Fiona O’Loughlin, funny, childhood, Mick Molloy, Edinburgh, Troops, Australian army, Defence force
ISBN: 9781760408237
Publisher: Echo
Published: 2017-09-21T22:37:43+00:00

23. This Shirt Won’t Iron Itself

I don’t think I ever wanted to be an accountant forever. In fact, I don’t think, deep down, I ever wanted to be an accountant. Period. Full stop. End of story.

I met my true love, stand-up comedy, on 1 December 1993 but I stayed in a committed relationship with accountancy way beyond then. How could I properly service two loves at the same time?

To be fair, I stayed with accountancy for the money and, if I’m going to be honest with myself, I don’t think I ever really loved her. I met her at school, we gelled, we continued our relationship through university and my parents loved her. Like, really loved her and strongly felt that we should commit to each other for life.

When I graduated they couldn’t have been prouder. In the photos I’m wearing some gown and holding up a certificate and they are beaming like I’ve arrived home a war hero. I had a solid and reliable partner who would never leave me. That was it. My life was sorted.

Sadly, I never felt the butterflies or the excitement. Rarely did I find myself salivating at the prospect of getting into the office and lifting the lid on a fresh file. When I was away from the office I never particularly wanted to hurry back but I did because I had made a commitment.

My comedy mistress gave me butterflies every time. The mixture of fear and excitement nearly always culminated in sheer joy as I wandered around the stage delivering my routine. Even on the bad nights I knew why I was there and I knew what I loved. I felt at home on the stage and backstage and hanging out with other comics and writing jokes and booking gigs and filling my diary. I loved all of it.

But it was hard to leave accountancy, mostly for financial reasons. I had plenty of opportunities to leave and I promised comedy that I would, but it was hard.

When I moved to London I could have quit, but I looked for work as soon as I arrived.

Halfway through my London stay, when I finished up at Citibank, I could have quit, but I took a job at Deutsche Bank.

When I left London I could have quit, but I went back to my old job in Adelaide.

Every time, I stayed for the money, but all the joy in my life was being delivered by my mistress.

It was getting harder and harder to be both a comedian and an accountant. I was taking more and more bookings and attracting more and more interest, but my day job was seriously getting in the way.

My naturally conservative nature made me hang on to accounting so I could save up a security blanket; a little nest egg I could lean on while finding my feet in stand-up. Disconcertingly, particularly given my profession, I was making no progress. Turns out, I am not a great saver and an excellent spender and my financial position, if anything, was going backwards.

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